Bloody, Buggery, Curly-Headed Bloodsucker of Portsmouth

Bloody, Buggery, Curly-Headed Bloodsuckers
Aquatic horror of Portsmouth
by Hauke Vagt

Creature Description: Bloody, Buggery, Curly-Headed Bloodsuckers of Portsmouth-- In 1527, King Henry VIII constructed Southsea Castle in Portsmouth, England. Henry had built the castle with moneys from the dissolution of the monasteries of England, following his break with the Catholic Church. During the construction of Southsea Castle, and unbeknownst to Henry and his court, a terrific nest of undead, aquatic horrors were awoken and stirred. They would lie dormant in the sludge and waters off Southsea Castle for another 18 years, gathering strength by feeding off the offal of the sea, having slumbered beneath the new foundation of Southsea Castle for centuries. On October the 31st, 1545, Henry would return to Southsea to admire his naval ships in advance of an attack he had planned against the French Naval Fleet. During a dinner at the castle, when the full moon had reached its peak in the sky Henry and his court witnessed a horror unlike any in recorded history. Around the shores of Southsea Castle a great, roiling school of sea monsters broke the surface of the water, swam out en masse to Henry's vice-flagship, the Mary Rose, boarded it, razed the ship, killed all 500 sailors and crew on board, and sank the Mary Rose into the sea. The creatures disappeared into the sea and were never seen again. Bodies recovered from the massacre revealed vampire-like bite marks on each of the victims around the necks, armpits and ankles. Descriptions of the creatures appearance varied greatly, but most described them as vaguely human-sized and gaunt, with shiny, pale, hideous skin, and each bore a great, voluminous, curly mane of dark, oily hair. Some witnesses described them as 'fish-men'. Others thought they looked more serpentine with limbs. Upon realizing the extent of the massacre the creatures had caused to his Navy, Henry was said to have exclaimed "Bloody, buggery, curly-headed bloodsuckers!!" Although few in Henry's court would speak of their belief openly, many viewed this unspeakable attack as God's vengence for the dissolution of the Catholic monasteries and the use of the funds garnished from said dissolution in building Southsea Castle.

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